I smell stomach acid.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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