Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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