She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
