It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He had one of those small greek statue penises
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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