why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
