Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
