Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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