Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
