how can u be prego again
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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