a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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