Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she smelled like a LAN party
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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