worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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