My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
