How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think i peed on brittanys purse
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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