He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize