After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
