the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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