My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize