So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
