My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
