I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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