You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize