I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
