just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
