i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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