I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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