Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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