so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
