is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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