I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
