apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
