i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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