well you can't waste a boner
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
