i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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