This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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