my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
