I want to walk on stilts...naked
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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