You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
