wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize