My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sarcasm needs its own font
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize