Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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