okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
