Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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