I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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