Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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