I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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