Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
