you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
