I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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