my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
