pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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