I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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