Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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