so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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