Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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