I heard we made out
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
