There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
