I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
