Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
