Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
