So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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