we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
