i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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