i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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