I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A bitchslap is in order.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
