Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
