is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize