Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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