Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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