what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
