so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
