never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
