Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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