i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
