would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
