i was born a porn star she said
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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