He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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