Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
